Some might have doubts, because the actual objects of research, such as love or money, are not really tangible enough, or at least elusive. Others blame it on the instruments in use, or believe stubbornly in their effectiveness: "Did you know that Jill and Pete

have broken up?" - "I knew it right from the start! Aries and Cancer with Libra ascending, Jupiter in the Seventh House - and with Charlie under the same roof… no wonder it didn't work out."

Enlightened PIPS readers that we are, climbing to the next meta-level on the path to the heights of insight, we ask ourselves where this desire comes from, this urge to know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Why do thousands of people hurry to the newsagents once a week to buy Your Horoscope or Your Future Revealed (interestingly, the logo of the German astro mag mentioned here bears surprising similarity to that of a well-known news magazine claiming to reveal

facts, facts, facts… maybe there's not that much difference after all.) Why do so many people get stuck in the call queues of horoscope chat lines, paying more than £1 per minute for the dreadful astro sounds?

The answer is not difficult to guess: day after day, we have to make decisions, the results of which can only be seen in the future. As we don't know what happens 'over there', we face a lot of uncertain-ty, since we don't know whether our decisions have been right or wrong.

And whenever people are uncertain, they tend to do silly things. They have their cards read to them, their palms, or their coffee dregs. They move tables, hoping that Uncle Herbert, bless his soul, might know the answer, or they prophesy the horses of the apocalypse.

A bad end always sells well. Since the rise of esoteric-holistic whinging, throwing bones has apparently become the latest fashion (again…) in certain circles. Other circles prefer to throw algorithms around instead. These sorts of clairvoyants are called analysts - and their Delphi is called Wall Street.

Anyway, let's leave aside the effectiveness of crystal balls and other such media, and have a closer look at them instead. We notice the amazing 'creative' potential and have to ask ourselves why, oh why, soothsaying is not an art in its own right, existing as an equal next to painting, music or literature? Will this PIPS box mark the turning point in the history of art as we know it? Only the stars could tell… But this prophetic claim I can make: reading it will be enjoyable.

Yours
Alexander Swirl, PIPS-DADA-CORPORATION

P.S. My guru says: Hands off telecom shares! (Or does he mean Deutsche Telekom??? But then oracles have always been known to be ambiguous … so we still don't know for certain, and with hindsight they can always claim to be true … grumbles your translator sceptic.)